I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
