So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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