my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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