My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
