my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
