I just pynch a tree in the face
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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