you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
