The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
