Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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