If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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