YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
