My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
