hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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