if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
