dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
