Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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