This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
