She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My Higher Power is John Stamos
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
