I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
