We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
