I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
