My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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