the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
