Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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