were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
