let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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