Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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