weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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