We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
40s are totally the cure
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
