And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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