I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
