Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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