When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
