in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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