Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
