I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
