I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
