I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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