I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
