After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
