Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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