woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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