Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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