He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
so much tequila, so little girl.
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