I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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