what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
