oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
