Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize