What a fucking waste of an outfit
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
