member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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