Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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