the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
