I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
