Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
