Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
