This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
birth control should be required to get into college
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
