quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
