The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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